Wednesday, February 27, 2008
entry post for 22nd of Feb:
Here i am at BBDC, waiting for baby's bike practical to be over. i was late today, and i find that i can't really bring myself to tell my mum about me going out in advance. i dont really feel that...."need". that's like, infilial?? i don't know. just took my photot for my membership card, and well, it looks rather good. for a passport sized photot. i always looked like an old woman in passport sized photo...it's like some kind of curse.
went into westmall's popular with mum just now, and i came across this zodiac book describing the caracteristics of zodiacs. i looked up the libran part and well, they say that librans, being born under the whatever planet and being represented by venus, it makes us chase after balance and harmony in whatever that we do. (the book says) we look very....'yiu xiu', which translates to be, i think, kuai and elegant and softspoken. Really meh?! i think i can pass for a random barbarian.
then they say that librans love to be around people and we treasure good friendships, which is true! (: i treasure my old sec school friends cause i think our friendships forged during the playful years of my life is so difficult to forget. Really!
friendships, to me, is important to the extent that when i would quarrel with a friend or when my friends around me quarrel, i'd feel very sad, and like the world kinda....dulls? yeah.
Another aspect of Librans that the book mentioned was that librans ARE-AFRAID-OF-LONELINESS!! omfg, now how true is that? VERY TRUE. im super afraid of loneliness, or maybe its cause im so used to having bunches of friends around in school, that now, if i had to eat lunch alone, i wouldn't. i'd rather go home and eat with pa or ma. that's why i want jo-ann to be in the same attachment company with me next sem!! (partly cos jo also wants it that way! haha).
Librans would "allow" the loneliness to become some kind of emptiness within them. it would feel "empty". and they also say that female librans who are in love, they just want to be with their partners twenty-four/seven. true. so true.
and the downside of us? we can decide for nuts. that's like, yeah, what im really really bad at. making decisions. and we tend to think that everyone thinks the same way that we do. which sometimes pisses them off. hmm..i guess so...
am i love for who i really am? or is there a mask of me that people see and like? i hate being alone by myself, is that being dependant?
i dont like the feeling of being told what to do, is that being stubborn?
i detest myself many many times, is that being unappreciative?
falling short of expectations, weakness?
so many different doubts, so many questions...where's the balance in my life that im seeking??
entry post TODAY:
wow, pretty emo past entry eh? oh well, we all have our ups and downs.
hmm...went to school at 2 plus today, praying that khaira would be around, but no! she's in another meeting. f. so i gave the reimbursment form to edwina (like, finally) and collected the cca forms from khaira's outbox. wasn't gonna meet theodore today cos it would be too late, and alicia wasn't with me to entertain me. so yeah. pretty much alone. only event to look forward to, was meeting muffin with an insurance agent at 6pm. and it was merely 3pm. so i stoned at the school lib for about 2 plus hours, listening to my psp( thank heavens for psp) and people watching thru the lib glass windows. frigging cold! and i didn't have my jacket with me. good game eh?
so when it was about 5.10 i got up to leave. i swear my heels were too tight around the toe area! grr... i don't care, il break into them. but i get blisters on my little toe!! T.T
took one seventy four to jurong point and arrived 15 mins late. oh well. found muffin and the agent at mos burger. that agent's name was....livia!!
so coincidental right!! olivia, livia! and like what muffin said, its like im the bitch and she's the itch! haha!
anyway, she talk talk talk for like, close to an hour, and in the end muffin said he had to consult his dad first before giving her an answer. haha. she seemed pretty pissed. lols. she left soon after that and darls and i had unagi rice burger and clam chowder. thereafter we went to toys'r'us cause muffin was looking for sea-monkeys.
in case you're scratching your head and wrinking your brow, sea-monkeys are like little miniature primitive prawns. they're supposed to be like, really tiny? micro-organism, but can see with naked eye kind. yeah.so we find the sea apes and fool around with toy swords for abit.
darls called justin to come down and so we waited for him. during that period of which we went to explore water guns which darls want to use more as a kerosene gun. lols. fire crazy guy.
so then justin arrive and they discuss more on the sea apes while i sit on the floor not really listening...haha! so we pay for the sea monkeys, me being a co-owner. haha. so after that i wait for one seventy four tgt with muffin and justin and went homee!!
i love you so much baby...and i really had fun these few days together with you (: and i enjoyed every second of it. (: my muffin(:
Wednesday, February 27, 2008
tell me what do you see in me
Wednesday, February 20, 2008
hmm, well its three papers down and one more to go. but today's paper was crap... it seemed like my mind blanked out on me and i can't remember the damn formulas. sighs. and the paper was set very cunningly. it's out to cheat me of my GPA and my diploma!!
oh the pains of schools and exams. *clutches my heart*
i've been studying so much recently that i think im losing hair. or maybe it's the shampoo. but in any case i seem to be experiencing some kind of miniature hair loss. i hope it stays as 'miniature' as possible. i don't want to go bald.
last paper isn't due until tomorrow and im already planning for my holidays!! woo! tml after our exams, the girls and i are gonna catch a movie (ah long pte ltd)!! then it's off home to zzzzz. catch up on my lost sleep time. friday, im gonna hit the ice once more! like, finally im going to skate, but i hope muffin can come skate too...it's been months since we skated tgt. and im missing it alot. saturday...like nothing on, but like got something. hmm. maybe il ask my cousins out, since we're all on hols. sunday afternoon got ISAN meeting in school. lols.
speaking of which i would prob need to arrange skate lessons for darls and i. i need to remind me.
after which it would be..........TRUELY HOLIDAYSSS!!!!!!!! wahaha. so many things i wanna do during the hols. like, go so many places with darls, take a piano lesson, work those roadshow sort of work ( which lasts only like, a week) to get that money, go out with friends, chiong maple. blah. so many!! im getting so excited just talking bout it!
but i have a paper tomorrow and i've not studied for it. =.=
baby i love you so so much!! grats for the bike prac again! and i am looking forward to being able to go out with you during the holidays! don't worry about the paper, cause it's over already okay? look to the future, which are the holidays! (: with me! hahahahah. huggs!
Wednesday, February 20, 2008
tell me what do you see in me
