so many things that shouldn't be that way,

so many feelings within me that contradict

I don't know where do i stand now. I feel more and more lost as time goes by.

The worst kind of feeling i can get, is to be void of any feeling. that sort of means something, does it not?

Time is not on my side.Patience wears thin, expectations are dissolving. why do i keep waiting for things that don't seem to come?

I get scared. I get tired of waiting. Bottomline is, I AM STILL A HUMAN. like everyone else, i've my limits and expectations. and disappointment hurts like a dagger in the throat. I don't want honey words, i'm looking for actions that support those words. Something substantial i can see.

Please?

I don't want it to turn out for the worst. Which is why i typed this, and I don't have much time with you left, i hope we can talk more and not a few messages in a few days. Preparing me for your army period? No, i don't want that. draw me closer back to you. cause i think i'm drifting and i'm feeling the distance. Can you do it?