here's a little quote from a world class skater. it kind of motivated me again, and inspired me too:
all those hours spent alone on the rink, its where the skater's strength really comes from.
thats where the standing ovation starts.
if you dont really want to be there, its gonna show.
nothing you dream about is gonna happen if you forget why you started in the first place.
you gotta skate with your heart.
before anyone can believe in you, you're gonna have to believe in yourself.
-kurt browning
i guess i just felt lost recently, felt like i lost the drive, the motivation, and sometimes, i even doubt my passion.
i always felt very small, and lousy on the ice.
why other skaters can advance so quickly but not me? of course, they had money to go for proper skate lessons every week. so why compete with them yeah? and besides, no one's here for me to compete against, no one to close enough to give pointers and do friendly matches. no one with me to fulfil my true dream.
that was the excuse i gave myself week after week, month after month. slowly, gradually, i started to give excuses not to go for skate sessions. i started skating only at around 7+ to 8pm. i skated half heartedly. i never practised.
and i thought, why should i? this wasn't what i planned, this wasn't what i really wanted. this ice, it seems to burden me, it seems to mock me, mocking my solitude. something in my brain told me to never go skate again, that this was never meant for me, that i don't deserve to skate like that alone...
until i saw the quote on youtube that night. the words were so meaningful. and realisation hit me. it said, hey olivia, dont forget! i have come this far from a year ago.
why did i start to skate in the first place?
because i loved the ice.
because i believed i could make it to world class levels.
because i told myself before that no matter what, i would continue to skate. along the way, maybe my thinkings inclined towards pairs...and when pairs couldnt work i lost motivation, i lost drive. but now, its alright...because i know its the ice i love, be it pairs or not.. as long as im skating to the very best that i can.
baby, i found my drive back (: all i need is for you to be there, beside me, behind me. i need you there to tell me im doing ok, to support me, cause i can't do this totally alone... i love you..
Sunday, April 13, 2008
tell me what do you see in me
