I'm having this terrible dilemma now, and i'm really confused. but maybe, just maybe, there's an inkling of hope and chance. i just read from tengah BP website, and i just think that there may be a chance of a solution, however cowardly it may seem. but nevertheless, i'll continue asking God to show me a way out. 

Disappointment in myself and maybe some people around me. sometimes i've no sense of emotions at all, esp last night, towards muffin. It just seemed like we were friends, nothing more. As if i didn't see him at all...and i'm disappointed for feeling that way. or maybe i'm thinking of something else more important, like my upcoming dilemma, to feel anything else. 

Happiness, because i've found something that i believing in... and because i know i've waiting so long, receiving so many invitations from Him.